Driving in France

In any given situation, there are formal and informal rules that one needs to observe for survival. Driving in France is no different and after a month's experience, we have observed a number of consistent driving behaviours that make up the informal rules that must be observed. For one's personal safety and sanity, we recommend them to anyone thinking of driving here.

1. There is no necessity to pay heed to the white lines down the middle of the road.
2. Speed limits are only to be observed if it suits you.
3. When overtaking traffic, it is important to ensure that a blind corner is approaching - causing any on-coming traffic to swerve or violently brake is obligatory. When combined with Rule 1, you are beginning to master one of the critical skills of French driving.
4. Irrespective of their width, roads are designed to accommodate vehicle flow in both directions. It is much more exciting if the combined width of the passing vehicles is less than the road. Do not attempt to accommodate (by moving over) approaching vehicles.
5. Park anywhere you want - inconvenience to other users of the road, or pedestrians, is not only irrelevant, but compulsory.
6. Stopping temporarily anywhere you want is mandatory (temporarily could mean anything up to 15-20 minutes). You may need to withdraw money from an ATM, pick up the dry-cleaning, purchase a baguette (or some groceries) on the way home, admire a pretty French thing walking by, or talk to an acquaintance. If you are a considerate driver (mostly to avoid a car behind crashing into you), you will engage your hazard lights. You will be totally unaware that you may be conveniencing others as it is totally irrelevant!
7. Cutting corners on a steeply descending and winding mountain road is essential; especially if you can cause any on-coming traffic to leave the road, or brake violently, to which you must be totally oblivious ! (Refer to Rules 1 & 4 above).
8. A red light for a pedestrian at a pedestrian crossing does not really indicate that the pedestrian should not cross. All road users need excitement ! A green light for a pedestrian does not really indicate that you should stop to allow a pedestrian to cross. All road users need excitement !
9. You have a horn - use it repeatedly !!
10. Mobile phone calls should be made when driving any vehicle at any speed, under any conditions. Better drivers combine this rule with rules 1-9.

Please also note that when driving in France, tolerance is an essential criteria, consideration is not !

Bonne chance !!